Tuesday 15th January 2008.
Hmm I don’t know.
Seeing him just brought so many emotions to light. I definitely didn’t see it coming, him or my reaction. I definitely wasn’t ready…
The more I studied him the more I realised how much I miss yin. It was all I could do not to go over there, not to call out yin, though I knew it couldn’t be him. All I could do not to keep starring at him even when he noticed me.
I keep thinking to myself maybe, maybe it was yin. Coming to a place like this on his own is totally his character.
The fact that I know he must be in Japan is the only thing that made me think and I suppose believe that it wasn’t him. He got away with it if it was him. Maybe he’d think less of me if it was and I didn’t see it. But then if I were to believe everyone I saw was someone dear to me, I’d never be able to exist in the fact and knowledge that they weren’t there anymore. Not that I suppose he’d care.
I’m somewhat amused at my own tendency now to call him yin-san, not yin, though that would technically be the closest level of affection, not kun, I never really did call him that. But not chan either. He knows we love him…
As it is, seeing him there, like that… it was all I could do not to cry…
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